June 16, 1966
After 9 wonderful months of anticipation my water broke on the exam table at the Dr.'s office just as the Dr. was going to do it. My due date was the 11th of June, and Dr. McGregor said he would start me today if I hadn't delivered sooner. How convenient not to make a mess, as there was a bucket under me at the foot of the exam table. I was sent home with instructions to go to the hospital when contractions were 5 minutes apart. Bill took me and my mom met us in the labor room. O, boy! Hang on! I had no clue what to expect and I had never experienced much more than a toothache! This was going to be a doozy! Watching my mother's face made it even harder, as I'm sure I was seeing my own pain reflected on her. She later told me she would never go into the labor room again with one of her daughters! My friend Mona was an aid, and came in to peek - she told me the baby has lots of dark curly hair. I wasn't a 
screamer, but some growls, moans & groans, and lots of fear in my eyes - - - Dr. Kon told me not to have this baby in the middle of the night, but not too long before midnight I was wheeled into the delivery room. No Bill. No mom. That just wasn't done in those days. They gave me some stuff called Twilight gas that made me close my eyes, but seemed to do nothing to ease pain. When the Dr. did the episotomy, I did scream. He was cursing the nurse for not filling whatever it was that was supposed to be in the bottle they sprayed on me to deaden that delicate area. Then I remember the Dr. saying "...shoulders like a football player." I assumed I had a boy, and said so. He said, "No, it's a beautiful girl with shoulders like a football player!" I was so jubilant! A daughter! They put her on my tummy while finishing up whatever, and the feel of her was like nothing in this world! She sounded like a kitten mewing when she cried... they took her away and put her in an incubator and later an isolet. Many times over the next 24 hrs. they were going to bring her to me, but she would turn blue and they would put her back on a machine to help her breathe or put a tube in her throat for the same purpose. I watched that tiny little girl rock on her hands & knees fighting for her life. At one time I got to stand with a window between us as we looked into each other's eyes and spoke all the love we had for each other. Shortly after midnight on the 18th Dr. Kon came into my room, pulled the curtain around me, sat on my bed and without speaking, held me and rocked me. We both sobbed. My precious little Toni Kay had come to this earth for such a brief visit to bless my life forever. I long for that day to hold her in my arms again.
screamer, but some growls, moans & groans, and lots of fear in my eyes - - - Dr. Kon told me not to have this baby in the middle of the night, but not too long before midnight I was wheeled into the delivery room. No Bill. No mom. That just wasn't done in those days. They gave me some stuff called Twilight gas that made me close my eyes, but seemed to do nothing to ease pain. When the Dr. did the episotomy, I did scream. He was cursing the nurse for not filling whatever it was that was supposed to be in the bottle they sprayed on me to deaden that delicate area. Then I remember the Dr. saying "...shoulders like a football player." I assumed I had a boy, and said so. He said, "No, it's a beautiful girl with shoulders like a football player!" I was so jubilant! A daughter! They put her on my tummy while finishing up whatever, and the feel of her was like nothing in this world! She sounded like a kitten mewing when she cried... they took her away and put her in an incubator and later an isolet. Many times over the next 24 hrs. they were going to bring her to me, but she would turn blue and they would put her back on a machine to help her breathe or put a tube in her throat for the same purpose. I watched that tiny little girl rock on her hands & knees fighting for her life. At one time I got to stand with a window between us as we looked into each other's eyes and spoke all the love we had for each other. Shortly after midnight on the 18th Dr. Kon came into my room, pulled the curtain around me, sat on my bed and without speaking, held me and rocked me. We both sobbed. My precious little Toni Kay had come to this earth for such a brief visit to bless my life forever. I long for that day to hold her in my arms again. Happy Birthday my baby!
June 16, 1970
4 years wanting a baby so badly! How thrilled to know I was going to soon hold a little boy in my arms. I just knew it was going to be a boy. He practiced all his wrestling moves within me for many months. He was due June 10th. On the morning of my contractions coming close together, I carried the trash can out to the street and walked over to my brother's house for a ride to the hospital. What a ride - included hopping the curb in his VW onto a church lawn and hearing a preacher utter some colorful words. (Jim's version of the story is absolutely hillarious!) Quite a jaunt 
from south Phoenix to the clinic in Mesa. After an examination when we got there I was told to come back later. Well I was starving, so Jim took me to a Dunkin Donuts and there was no seats available. So we drove around alot finally stopping at a gas station for some chips and a coke. This time the hospital admitted me. Jim had to go to work. They didn't let me see anyone for long anyway. My sister Wanda stopped by for a while. Labor went on and on and on. I was poked and prodded a bazillion times by interns, externs and nurses. One sweet little RN rubbed my back as we sang songs to pass the time. I couldn't lie down as my tailbone was sticking out. This baby was so reluctant to enter this world that he kept pushing back instead of forward. They finally administered a para cervical and took me to the delivery room. Oops! Still not ready. More walking, and singing , and back rubs! The delivery room again! Yipee! Well, this time when they wheeled me back out I cried. I know I'm pregnant! What's going on?! Third time's the charm! Of course, by then, the drugs had worn off. I figured if I was having this baby without drugs, I wanted to watch. So, I sat up on the delivery table (lying down on that tailbone was extremely uncomfortable, anyway) and watched the reflection on Dr. Skousen's glasses and the instrument case behind him. That little boy was certainly being stubborn, but finally came into this world posterior. The first thing the Dr. said was "o, what's this?" I panicked. This was Toni's birthday, and I had visions of the same thing happening again. Dr. Skousen reassured me that he was only concerned about a thumb size hematoma on the side of the baby's head, but that he was healty and beautiful. I could already see that he was beautiful. I couldn't wait to hold him and that didn't take long. It was me and him. Nothing else in the world mattered. Joseph Todd. I notified the Red Cross to let his daddy know about his birth way over in Viet Nam. Circumstances never permitted the two to meet. But, how like him he was in looks, gentleness, compassion, and so many ways. Todd brought such joy to my life, his little sister's life - even though there was 12 years between them - his step dad's life, and anyone who knew him.
from south Phoenix to the clinic in Mesa. After an examination when we got there I was told to come back later. Well I was starving, so Jim took me to a Dunkin Donuts and there was no seats available. So we drove around alot finally stopping at a gas station for some chips and a coke. This time the hospital admitted me. Jim had to go to work. They didn't let me see anyone for long anyway. My sister Wanda stopped by for a while. Labor went on and on and on. I was poked and prodded a bazillion times by interns, externs and nurses. One sweet little RN rubbed my back as we sang songs to pass the time. I couldn't lie down as my tailbone was sticking out. This baby was so reluctant to enter this world that he kept pushing back instead of forward. They finally administered a para cervical and took me to the delivery room. Oops! Still not ready. More walking, and singing , and back rubs! The delivery room again! Yipee! Well, this time when they wheeled me back out I cried. I know I'm pregnant! What's going on?! Third time's the charm! Of course, by then, the drugs had worn off. I figured if I was having this baby without drugs, I wanted to watch. So, I sat up on the delivery table (lying down on that tailbone was extremely uncomfortable, anyway) and watched the reflection on Dr. Skousen's glasses and the instrument case behind him. That little boy was certainly being stubborn, but finally came into this world posterior. The first thing the Dr. said was "o, what's this?" I panicked. This was Toni's birthday, and I had visions of the same thing happening again. Dr. Skousen reassured me that he was only concerned about a thumb size hematoma on the side of the baby's head, but that he was healty and beautiful. I could already see that he was beautiful. I couldn't wait to hold him and that didn't take long. It was me and him. Nothing else in the world mattered. Joseph Todd. I notified the Red Cross to let his daddy know about his birth way over in Viet Nam. Circumstances never permitted the two to meet. But, how like him he was in looks, gentleness, compassion, and so many ways. Todd brought such joy to my life, his little sister's life - even though there was 12 years between them - his step dad's life, and anyone who knew him. 25 yrs. with Todd. 14 yrs. without him. I miss your smile, your laughter, your teasing, and especially your hugs! Can't wait for the day I get them again.
Happy Birthday my son!
2 comments:
I'll see if I can type through the tears. My oh my, what a story you tell. You have had your share of sorrow and of joy too! I never, ever knew your two babies shared a birthday. Thanks for sharing that sweet, touching tribute to your kids! Go hold Andi and keep her close!! You need her. I hope you are smiling on this sad birthday!
Wow, Paula. What heart-felt expressions. The more I learn about you the more I understand how you've become so wonderful. You're my hero.
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