...and Today's Musings are...

~ a few posts in one ~

2012-01-25T14:21:00.001-07:00

Wow! Awesome couple of days I've had.

My aunt Nel showed up at my house early afternoon on Monday. I was so thrilled to see her. What an angel to come all the way from Tucson to get me! We never stopped talking while I cleaned, packed and fixed dinner. Beth came for dinner and the conversation, laughter and good times kept on.

Tuesday morning after giving my girls hugs and kisses, Nel and I got on our way fairly early. As we were were going to go a different way than she came, I drove. There was some awesome fog in my little valley. Because it's right by the river, I assumed that it would be gone when we hit the freeway. Noooo, the fog stayed with us until we got to Fredonia. Then we got to see snow from there to the other side of Kiabab forest! The road was icy all that way, too! Did we care? Heck no ~ it was so BEAUTIFUL! We just took a little longer. Nel enjoyed being the passenger and seeing the scenery, and I just loved being with her! We, again, never stopped talking ~ taking turns or just butting in. It was a blast! She dropped me off at Jim & Carol's then headed to Tucson. I'll see her again in a couple of weeks!

Spending time with my brother and his family always makes me happy and inspires me. We had a great dinner last night that was prepared by Justin, hung out and visited a while, then all went to bed. I slept like a baby!

It's Wednesday already. This family rises EARLY an starts their busy day. After doing errands, Jim took me to the old trailer park that Dad created and where we once lived (in a house that was moved from our old neighborhood - Mr. McCorkle's house) and it was fun to see it still in use. Then he took me to see the house we lived in right after Mom and Dad married. Of course we drive by Sunland Elementary where we went to school ~ it hasn't changed a bit,. Then he took me to see the house that Wanda & Jordan lived in. It's a beautiful home! Such a joy to have memories wash over me and share them with my BIG brother. Then we sat on his patio and watched Ike (their GIANT tortise) eat carrots while I enjoyed eating a lemon from Jim's tree!

MISS my girls, but talk to them morning & night - well maybe a little in-between, too.

We will all be up early tomorrow to lend our love, prayers, and support as Jim undergoes surgery - or as he put it "donating a kidney".

I'm here to make sure he behaves himself when he comes home.

I sure LOVE my brother JIM!

...and on the 7th day...

2012-01-22T22:34:00.000-07:00

I LOVE Sunday!

Having gone to bed Saturday night after reading from the scriptures, re-reading my Primary lesson, and saying my prayers, I so can't wait for Sunday morning.

Renewing my covenants by taking the sacrament gives me such peace and refreshment.

I'm so imperfect, and therefore grateful for the Savior's atonement. I can feel his LOVE.

Hearing the testimonies of the speakers, teaches and strengthens me.

Teaching those precious little ones in my primary class makes me humbly realize the beautiful gifts that we have been blessed with. The sweet voices when they sing ~ the way they are eager to show their faith ~ their tender prayers ~ their reverence ~ they lift and inspire me.

And, after a peaceful afternoon with my girls,

Haylee and I went to a beautiful Baptism Preview at the church.

BEST kind of day!

An Evening With Bug

2012-01-21T20:13:00.000-07:00

Haylee Bug & Gramma spending the evening together. Mommy is having a girls evening elsewhere. We would normally get into some sort of mischief together, but The Bug has a ~~bug~~ head cold!

Did ya catch that wad of tissue in her nostril?! She has tonsils bumping each other, too. No redness or sore throat. She just got over an ear ache. What a little trooper. Her only complaint has been the nose being tender from wiping.

Gramma decided chicken soup was in order for dinner.

It was a hit!

Then we made these~~~

Peanut butter filled Bugles dipped in chocolate!

Sweet & Salty little mouthfuls of JOY!

I saw them on Pinterest. Quite proud of myself for actually making them. Of course I couldn't have done it without the help of my Haylee Bug!

Love that kid to bits!

Heavenly Delicious or Downright Evil

2012-01-20T15:54:00.001-07:00

Who doesn't love BROWNIES?

Wait --- I really don't want to know!

~ I made these last night ~

See that lighter color layer in the middle?

Well... that's where the decadence comes into these delightful morsels.

Make any brownie recipe - Your favorite kind in a box will do.

Pour 1/2 of the batter into a 9'X13" pan.

Are you ready? Here comes the yummy part...

Place 3 - yep three large - Symphony bars (milk chocolate or toffee - whichever suits your fancy) on top of that, and finish by topping with the rest of the batter.

Bake as instructed on the box, or your recipe!

Ta-da!

Makes your taste buds giddy!

I HEART EGGS & TOAST!

2012-01-19T21:16:00.001-07:00

Nearly every morning I have a couple of eggs and a slice or two of toast on one of my previously mentioned precious childhood pink plates!

For the past few months my little (however very tall) brother has been bringing me eggs laid by his chickens.

~~ mmmmm ~~

THANKS, LYLE!

They have soooo much more flavor than store bought eggs.

We always had fresh eggs when I was growing up.

I remember my mom's chicken coop with a big wooden Mobile oil Pegasus on one side of the chicken wire enclosure.

I don't know why. I think my dad had worked at a gas station at one time.

Anyway, I remember that big red horse and loved it!

We had laying chickens at the farm, too. I hated gathering eggs ~ had a big fear of them (the chickens - not the eggs) attacking me.

Mom & dad had chickens when they lived in Littlefield. Once, they had given us some eggs as we were headed back to Meadow. We put them in the back seat. Well, I went to sleep at the wheel and rolled the car. Jay had some cracked ribs, Todd had a couple of bruises, and I had a concussion, a bad cut above my eye, a forehead that looked like a neanderthal, some cracked ribs and some nasty gashes on my leg. People actually stopped at the place where they took our car and thought we had all died. All those smashed eggs along with all my blood really made for a gruesome scene!

When Jay & I lived in Meadow, we decided to raise chickens. Well, he didn't have a clue, so guess who ended up being the caretaker ~ duh.

I learned to love those chickens, and certainly enjoyed the fresh eggs every day!

Very Unusual Facial

2012-01-18T18:02:00.002-07:00

You know the stuff.

We've all used it to calm our upset tummy.

My grandmother used to keep it in the door of her fridge.

When I was little, I used to sneak into her kitchen, open the fridge and take a swig!

eeew!

I thought it was so yummy!

Not anymore!

However, I was told about a different use for this bright PINK concoction

~ a facial! ~

Last night I decided to see if it works.

Not a great picture (must be the camera!), but my face is slathered with pink goo! It smelled fantastically minty and yummy. It made my face tingle. I let it dry and then washed it off with warm water followed with a splash of cold water.

My skin GLOWED!

And, it feels so SOFT!

(It did take a little work to get it out of my hair. I had a pink fringe for a while!)

There you go ~ something new to try!

2012-01-17T19:30:00.001-07:00

Thinking PINK!

~from Sassy thru Bev~

Way back in a 2009 post, I talked about these precious plates

from my childhood.

Gotta say that they have to top anything else pink that I have!

Use them all the time, and

LOVE them!

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

2012-01-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

This was the third time I've had this procedure, and it was the smoothest yet!

The Doctor was funny, and both of my nurses were so sweet. And, by the way they were both handsome guys - a plus in such a vulnerable situation.

Glad it is over, though!

I'll just sit on it for another 5 years!

WIPED OUT!

2012-01-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Stayed home from church today.

Drank a gallon of COLYTE.

Busy day.

Colonoscopy in the morning.

'Nuff said?

CHORES

2012-01-14T22:09:00.001-07:00

FINALLY!

Vacuumed and wiped down the interior of my car!

I certainly don't mind washing the car, and I keep it wiped down, but vacuuming the interior is a CHORE!

(doesn't that word even sound like something you don't enjoy - CHORE?!)

I scrubbed some spots off the carpet.

another CHORE

I just finished up some laundry. Love doing the washing, drying & folding, just not too fond of hanging and putting the clean laundry away.

another CHORE

I think I'll go to bed and read.

Nightie Night!

THE SOUND OF SILENCE

2012-01-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

My girls are gone for the weekend...

Peace

Tranquility

I can hear myself think

it's TOO quiet

Lonely

Can't wait 'til Sunday evening!

2012-01-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

Cutest little man in front of me at the checkout in Wal-Mart was such a happy guy! Indeed he was a gentleman, and I think he was flirting with me.

Sad, isn't it that I really wasn't sure!

Well, never fear, 'cause

TOO!

If the cashier hadn't been so talkative and S L O W , I would have caught up with him in the parking lot.

But, alas, I couldn't find him.

O, well. He must not have been worth it, or he would have waited for me!

2012-01-11T22:55:00.001-07:00

A long time friend had this pic on face book today - I love it - I stole it!

It conjures up so many memories ~ of youth and the knowledge that your freedom to play all day (without your mom really knowing exactly where you were), still came with the assurance that you were safe & secure and all was well with the world!

Why is it so hard to just let yourself run with that sweet abandon now?

Remember those warm wonderful feelings of childhood when you felt so free and filled with enough energy to power a nation - well, at least the neighborhood?!

So many trees to climb.

So many fields to run in.

So much sunshine to soak up.

So many clouds to watch while laying on your back in the cool grass.

So many night games to play;

hide & seek

red rover

ghost stories

star gazing.

Playing dolls, jacks, marbles.

Cops & robbers.

Cowboys & Indians.

Climbing haystacks.

Riding horses.

Eating citrus and dates and blackberries 'til you were sick.

Drinking from the hose so you didn't have to go inside when you got thirsty?

Mud pies.

Swimming.

Eating watermelon warm off the vine in the field.

aah---

Didn't that feel GREAT?!

The Pecan Tree

2012-01-10T22:00:00.002-07:00

My next door neighbor has a pecan tree in their front yard. It is beautiful, BIG, produces fabulous shade and plenty of nuts. I've made pecan pies with those lovely morsels.

It also produces sticky sap all over my drive way, or when that isn't happening it drops nuts all over my drive way that get run over and squished into messy wasteful splotches. It provides a roost for the largest black birds I have ever seen that love to leave HUGE globs of waste on my drive way. My daughter used to park in the driveway, but after all the above mentioned pelted her car she no longer does. In the fall most of the leaves drop on my drive way, roof, and blow with every breeze into my side and back patios! A few weeks ago, I got on the ladder and got the leaves off my roof and out of the rain gutter. The neighbors still had tons of them on their roof, however. Well, we had a really big wind storm that transported all the leaves from their roof to - yep, you guessed it - the side and back patio of my house! Well, thank goodness for the yard maintenance guys that show up every Tuesday with their handy-dandy leaf blowers in our little neighborhood!

My patios are leaf free!

[And, today I also washed my daughter's car, and the windshield of mine and got the last of the bird stuff off! So, we're now all sparkly! ]

I'd say that is a pretty good Tuesday!

A GOOD PERSPECTIVE

2012-01-09T19:30:00.000-07:00

...and that's the way I need to always see it!

~ (no matter how tough it may seem some days) ~

It's been a MONDAY!

My Mom Said...

2012-01-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

You know those things that you do automatically that make life a little sweeter ~

Those little things that set you apart from the rude and common ~

Those things your Mom's friends complimented you on when you were little ~

Those things that you taught your own children and hope that your grandchildren will also do and pass on ~

Those things that make us civilized ~

Things that you notice when others don't do them~

I think some of them are simply good manners and my mom said they were

RULES to live by.

Well, when I saw this ~

I just had to share ~ 'cause my mom SAID!

MOVIE NIGHT

2012-01-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't been out to a movie in -------------AGES! Thanks to our sweet home teacher and his awesome wife (a gift of 3 movie tickets for Christmas), my girls and I went to

see this tonight ~

and LOVED it!

Man in the Moon

2012-01-06T17:02:00.003-07:00

This is the image I saw last night. Glowing ~ Beautiful ~ Peaceful ~
Shedding benevolent light on all.

But, I do believe at least one little girl and possibly two must have been influenced by

this guy! What an afternoon! Talk about moody!

I TOTALLY prefer the first one!

GRAMMA'S TAXI

2012-01-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

This is my role on school days. I make the rounds in our little area and pick up two little boys along with my Haylee and deliver them to the bus stop.

You see, they all used to walk to the bus stop. Haylee was the only girl with 8 little boys! So, I still accompanied her. Then ~ lo and behold the district changed the bus routes to make them safer. Two buses ~ one for either side of the busy thoroughfare. Now there are only 3 boys and Haylee. One little boy lives at the other end of the bus stop. The new stop is quite a bit further away and doesn't seem to be so safe. There were three cars trying to find places to park each morning and there was really only one place available. It just seemed so silly to me, plus one little boy's mom had to drag out a baby and she usually was in her robe. One day I just got out of my car and walked up to her and the dad of the other little boy and asked if I could just pick them up each morning. They were happy to let me do that, and it works for the most part. We sometimes have to wait for one little boy what seems like forever. We listen to music, keep warm in the car, talk about all sorts of fun things, sometimes have some minor disagreements or pouting, a few unexpected rude noises, but most generally a happy few minutes wait for the school bus. I find it very rewarding to not only spend time each morning with Haylee, but to get to know the two little boys as well!

ANGELS

2012-01-04T21:09:00.001-07:00

Oh, I believe in angels!

They are real.

They have faces.

They have names.

They call us on the phone.

They sometimes hold our hand.

They walk among us.

They know when we need comfort or help.

Some are HERE

and some are THERE

Angels, angels everywhere!

I LOVE ANGELS!

FAMILY = COMFORT & JOY

2012-01-03T22:42:00.001-07:00

Each and every day it is my family that makes it all worth while! I am so blessed to have been placed in this family. I am so grateful for all those who came before me, and the choices and sacrifices they made, and their faith and testimonies and obedience, so that I could be born in the covenant and live in this promised land. The influence of my grandparents, parents, and siblings ~ Not a day goes by that I don't think of them. I am so thrilled to have so many aunts & uncles & cousins that have touched my heart and made my life so colorful and full. A rich array of nieces and nephews that I adore...And my babies ~ Toni, Todd & Andi ~ my precious children, my treasures, my hope, my comfort, how tender that they chose me! ... but the joy of having a grand daughter is to have a slice of heaven! I love you so, Haylee!

the secret is ... she loves me, too!

BISCUITS & SAUSAGE GRAVY ~ YUM!

2012-01-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

Yep! It was a biscuit & sausage gravy kind of morning! You know what I mean ~ everyone slept in ~ no hurry to get dressed ~ don't have to be anywhere but home!

So... Sausage gravy & biscuits it is!

Comfort food. Memory jogger. Mmmmmmmmmmm...

Wish you were here!

HERE'S TO YOU! A TOAST FROM ME!

2012-01-01T16:16:00.000-07:00

OF COURSE THAT IS SPARKLING CIDER!

WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS?!

Here's to you, Bev! I'm on top of that accepted challenge!

Here's to you, My Girls! Having you near me warms my heart!

Here's to you, my family and friends! You buoy me up!

Here's to you, 11 o'clock church! I'm liking the extra time in the morning to review my lesson.

Here's to you, my Primary class! I'm in love with you already!

Here's to you, 2012! You have made a fabulous start!

A SEASON OF BOUNTIFUL BLESSINGS

2011-12-31T23:43:00.002-07:00

IN HIS GLORY by Del Parson

As I ponder on this past year, I can say that through the tender mercies of the Lord I can handle hard things. With Him before me I can face challenges with a strength I don't possess on my own. Through His love I can smile when tears threaten. In any looming darkness, I feel His warmth on my face and His arms around me.

In my lack I find bounteous blessings. I understand the trials that beset me are teaching me humility. The service opportunities that present themselves to me make me more loving and compassionate. The hurts that fall upon me teach me forgiveness. Not knowing what comes tomorrow has increased my faith and my faith has given me greater hope.

I am filled with JOY at knowing I have a loving Father in Heaven and His Son that know my heart and bless & comfort me.

I am grateful for my precious family ( both here & there), my increased health, my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and the angels that constantly keep watch over me.

I cherish the lessons learned and blessings showered on me in 2011 and hope that I can keep my countenance reflecting the joy that I feel and share that joy with all those I am around in 2012!

With much love to you for being in my life, my wish for you is to have a

~~HAPPY~~ JOYOUS & BLESSED NEW YEAR!

For My SUNSHINE!

2011-11-03T22:26:00.003-06:00

ANDREA ANN HALL

~ANDI~

My world became brighter on November 3, 1982.

That was the night that you took your first breath ~ and took my breath away.

Carrying you within me for those precious 9 months created so much joy, but the joy that was to come made that pale in comparison.

Such a happy baby!

Just look at that SMILE!

You entered this world so easily, I think you must have been so excited and anxious to meet your family waiting here! It had been a long wait for us - twelve years since your brother joined us!

I couldn't stop looking at you. You were so perfect.

Indeed, you were everything I dreamed you would be. What a good baby!

O, the fun of dressing you in frilly pastel dresses with lots of ruffles. Little bows in your hair. That wonderful scent of baby powder and lotion!

Loving

Your hugs and kisses

The cute little treasures you created in school

The dandelions you picked for me

Watching you be so tender with your babydolls

That repeated "Mom, LOOK!" as you performed something new

That lump in my throat "Hi, Mom" at your gymnastic recital

Hearing the giggles of you with your friends

Learning to skate

Ride a bike

Getting your driver's license
Your first car

Your first job

Your first place of your own

The tears of JOY at hearing "You're going to be a Gramma"

Watching you become a woman, a mother, a great friend

Yes, YOU are my Sunshine!

Feeling helpless to stop your pain at

Losing your Grandma

Your BEST friend - your BROTHER

Your Grandpa

Your Aunt Norene

Your Aunt Wanda

Your Aunt Lena

Watching you become stronger

Loving

Your determination

Your strength

Your loyalty

Your honesty

Your tenderness

Your creativity

Your generosity

Your helpfulness

Your beauty within and without

I am so proud of you , my baby girl!

HaPpy hApPy BirTHdAy!

You make me happy when skies are grey -

and ALL the time.

THESE LITTLE HANDS

2011-08-22T13:15:00.000-06:00

Ten little hand-prints!

These were done in our Primary classroom, tracing each little hand, by the Primary President and myself at the beginning of summer. I thought they were going to be used in a program or given to the bishopric. Anyway, I had forgotten them. The weekend of our family reunion, the presidency gave a "thank you" get-together lunch that I obviously missed. They handed out these cut-out prints, each class tied together, to each teacher. I got mine yesterday before Primary began.

What a treasure!

Each one draws up the memory of that child's sweet face, and smiles that light up my world. Each one brings the thought of it with it's tiny partner folded together in reverence or prayer. Each one re-creates the picture of it waving in the air excitedly to share something wonderful with me, or to answer a question. Each one brings that warm remembrance of feeling it slip into my hand with faith and love.

These hands have touched my life in ways they will never know.

But, most of all -

These hands have touched my HEART!

I LOVE my Primary children!

A Drop in the Bucket?

2011-07-15T18:53:00.001-06:00

Our stake had a blood drive yesterday. I have been a donor for many years and really was excited about the prospect of helping someone. I have really tiny veins. It usually takes a couple of tries to find a good one. I therefore end up with holes and bruises every time. Well, after three different attendants, both arms, two different chairs, turning the second chair around, and getting the supervisor they managed to find a vein and hook me up! Oops! Seems that it wasn't flowing at a very good rate. I usually fill the bag very quickly. My blood is extremely rich in iron - they say it is more like a man's blood than most women.

Well, as I lay there waiting and squeezing the little ball they gave me, I was able to muse on Mom and Dad and their attempt at donating blood. Dad was an excellent donor for many years. I think he received a lifetime of free blood for his service. He had an international blood type O2, which only 7% of the population have. It can donate to any other blood type but only receive blood from another O2. I remember thinking how cool he was for being so special and in demand! Then there was Mom... she always wanted to donate. She told me once that every time the opportunity came up, she was either at "that time of the month" or pregnant! When she was finally through with all that "female" stuff, she went to donate, and they wouldn't take her blood. It seems that she had really LOW iron. She pulled down her lower eyelid to show me that inside of it was barely tinged pink when it should have been a healthy red. (I told that to the supervisor who poked me and she said she was going to check that out on the rest of the donors that day.) Mom's doctor did give her an iron supplement, but they didn't work, because her system just wouldn't absorb it. I think she chose not to have the shots.

I feel so grateful to my parents for setting a good example to me.

I was rudely torn form my musing by a very annoying high-pitched sound coming from the little scale my bag of blood was resting on. The supervisor came running over and said the bag was filling too slowly and she needed to move the needle slightly to help it run better. She did turn the needle and twist and push and I almost came straight up off my chair. In all the years of being poked and bruised, I had never experienced any pain. Omygosh - this was not fun anymore! She said the needle and vein was laying hard on a nerve, and to keep me from getting a knot in the vein or the nerve she had to pull the needle. Well, the bag was only 3/4 full which means that it can only be used for testing purposes and can not be given to a patient. I was crushed. I felt I had wasted everyone's time as well as a bag of blood! If you know me, you know what happened next. Yep! I started to leak from my eyes. This cute little supervisor thought she had really hurt me badly. I explained that it was mere disappointment, and she said she totally understood as she had had a similar experience.

The only other time I was not able to complete a donation was at the LDS Hospital before Mom went in for her heart surgery. My vein had simply closed before the bag was full. I really felt torn up over that. It was a gift for my Mom!

So, I really did have good intentions, but didn't even leave a drop in the bucket.

Past Attempts at Greatness

2011-07-12T19:39:00.005-06:00

Cleaning the garage brought forth a few of my attempts at ART. Some I feel pretty good about, and others - well, let me just say - I tried. Most of these were done in highschool, a couple when I was first married, and two in honor of my grand daughter's birthdays.

This woodcut was done my sophmore year. My first attempt at woodcutting and printing.

Same period - first of five prints on this woodcut - Top String. Have no idea who has the others. Because these are old, they are both becoming very fragile. the paper is yellowing and crinkly! O, wait, so am I!

Following are some of the water colors that I painted my Junior year. Most were done on site.

This was in the Washington fields looking toward Pine Valley Mountain.

Front view of same housein the fields
.

Backside of an old house in Santa Clara close to the Jacob Hamblin home.

Painted in the classroom.

Read about this one Here

Portrait of a fellow classmate done in conte crayon my senior year.

(I did get the art award that year)

This was drawn from looking at a photo of a dear friend in the 70's.

Following are a few pencil sketches I did when I was first married.

I loved sketching trees! I still doodle trees.

-done in crayon on a foam board for Haylee's B-day party a couple of years ago. They played pin the shades on the rock star - with sun-glasses made out of art foam. (Haylee put the bright circles on the cheeks at a later time)

-dry erase markers for Haylee's party

My next attempt will be scanning some of my ancient poetry to muse on!

Happy FATHER's Day to...

2011-06-19T13:54:00.000-06:00

Julian A Cluff
That would be my DAD on the right. He died when I was a mere 11 months old when his plane crashed near Payson, AZ. I only got to know him through the stories that were told. But, those stories let him be a HERO in my mind. Flying airplanes - riding motorcycles - and he was sooo handsome! The visits that I had with him were frequent trips to the cemetery with Mom to take him bunches of oleander and wipe down his headstone. I loved being in that green, cool oasis. Listening to the birds singing in the trees and feeing the soft breeze against my little tanned body I could feel peace and happiness there. But, he wasn't there to put his arms around me, or hold me on his knee... I have to be honest and admit that I felt abandoned by him and somewhat angry. My big brother, Jim, took me to the crash site when I was much older. After hiking in from the highway Jim pointed out to me the canopy of the plane still leaning against a treeon the little hill, pointed in the direction of the tiny airport. Some of that anger began to melt. My DAD had been returning to the airport - he knew there was a problem and was going back. I sat right down in the dirt and let the tears come. As I sobbed the 47 years of pain and longing and yes, anger, all washed away. My Daddy had been trying to come home. I know now that he has been watching over me my entire life! Happy Father's Day. I love you!

Eddie Lee Jones
That would be my DAD on the left. I was almost 6 years old when my Mom married him. I really wanted a daddy, but knew there were going to be many changes for this little girl. From their courting, I could already feel the sterness. I could tell that the discipline was going to out-weigh the tenderness he may feel towards me. I was right. I had lots of moments of his harsh discipline. I was too sassy and was always punished for "talking back". But, I really only wanted to be a "daddy's little girl" and make him love me. I learned a lot about life from him. He taught me the importance of doing a job well, and smiling while doing it (I may have had the hardest time with the smiling part), being frugal (straightening used bent nails to re-use), respecting the animals that would feed us, bring money to our family on their sale, or simply be our friend. He was a hard worker, soooo Handsome, loved to sing, and was so much fun on family camping trips. I really became close to him in his later years, and learned how much I loved him as I became more involved in his care. Thanks for making me yours, Dad. Happy Father's Day!

Toni & Todd

2011-06-16T10:35:00.005-06:00

Two Birthdays exactly 4 years apart.

Each one treasured within my heart.

O, day of JOY!

A baby Girl! A baby Boy!

How miraculous and sweet,

That tender moment when we meet -

Mother and babe.

One shared but a moment -

One, twenty five years.

Only my heart knows the sorrow and tears.

But, how miraculous and sweet -

When in Heaven again we meet -

Mother and child.

So Much to be THANKFUL For!

2010-11-25T10:11:00.003-07:00

God has blessed my life with such bounty!

I am so thankful for my FAITH - knowing that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, and that His son, Jesus Christ, is my savior.

I am ever so grateful for my FAMILY who lift me and sustain me. - My parents, my siblings & their families, my cousins, aunts & uncles - my precious children (especially my daughter Andi who teaches me so much and brings me such joy) and my grand daughter, Haylee!

I thank my FRIENDS who stand beside me through thick and thin - you all know who you are!

I am thankful for all those necessities that sustain my life

and

for all the blessings that bring me ease and comfort.

I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me in this corner of the world - the colors, textures, contrasts, sounds, and delightful memory invoking scents that are part of God's wonderful creation.

I am blessed with the ability to see, hear, taste, smell and feel.

I've been given the ability to love unconditionally, forgive freely, and feel compassion.

How THANKFUL I am for all the love that has surrounded me all my life!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Happy Birthday WANDA!

2010-05-10T16:51:00.012-06:00

I wanted so badly to call you this morning and wish you a Happy Birthday... O, how I miss you!

Even though you were only 7 years older, you were always like another mother to me. Protecting me, teaching me, spoiling me.

Like our MOM, you were always there for me.

I could talk to you about anything.

I wanted to be like you.

Most of my early memories include you.

Many times you rescued me from the big mullberry tree in our yard. I would have met certain broken-bone fate if you hadn't caught me as I jumped from a limb o so high. You saved my burning bare feet by packing me on your back after my whining about the hot, thick, powdery summer dust we had to trudge through to Grandmother & Grandad Cluff's house. (I sometimes wonder if I had any shoes to play in.) I can remember walking home from Rendevous Park after swimming and begging you to carry me 'cause the sidewalk was scorching my little brown feet. And, speaking of swimming ~ there was the time that you and Linda Payne were in the deep end of the pool hanging on the side (I'm sure just looking cool for the guys) and I jumped in beside you. I only went under a couple of times before you grabbed me, sat me on the side and scolded me. But, you were my hero! You saved me!

I remember you orchestrating "freak shows" on our huge front porch (well, when I see it today, it was really just a small step). We dressed up in Mom's old clothes, sold tickets to neighbors, and did I-really-don't-remember-what, other than we called it a freak show. You were always organizing something for the family to do. Organizing was one of your strengths.

I remember going to a mutual party at Halloween sitting on top of your shoulders with a long yellow formal gown on to hide you, and having people wonder who we were. I felt so grown up being there with big people and getting to dance (of course it was your feet doing all the dancing).Oooo, and of course you put lipstick on me!

I was so thrilled that you showed me how to do backbends, cartwheels, headstands & handstands, splits, and to walk with my hands. I knew how way before any of my friends did, and was able to teach them, thanks to you!

I loved watching you draw, and felt so pleased that you would take the time (it seems that you always had time for me) to show me how to draw a realistic looking tree with leaves. You were so talented.

Musically speaking, some of my favorite oldies are songs that you listened to as a teenager.

It totally broke my heart when you married and moved away, but O, how I cherished the summers that I got to spend with you! When I got to fly with gramma Strebeck to visit you in Playa del Rey and spend time, I thought I was in heaven. I remember going to the little market with you (you made friends with every one there, and I was so proud that you introduced me to them), to get things for our lunches - cottage cheese, peaches and Wheat Thins (still a favorite of mine). You said you were trying to get your figure back after having Jay, but I thought you were just right, and even more beautiful for being a mother. You were so cool to let me go to the beach with Skipper and his friends. How fun that you let me get a treat from the bakery truck or the ice cream truck that came through your neighborhood.

As your family grew, I got to spend summers and watch your kids while you worked. I love your kids. I learned so much by watching you be a mother.

You introduced me to so many books. "A Girl of the Limberlost" is still one of my most cherished books to read. Mom instilled the love of reading in me, but you pushed it along.

You stood by me in all the trauma and drama in my life. You and Jordan were pillars for me when Todd was born.

Your letters buoyed me up when we lived so far apart. You and Hallmark (you had a closet full of cards and gifts for every occassion!) lifted me more times than you will ever know.

Your example of compassionate service inspires me. You were always doing for someone else.

You were my rock when Todd died. I relied on your love and strength. There you were to see to it that I not have to worry about anything. I was in such a daze I couldn't have accommodated all the people that came to mourn with me. Just being wrapped in your arms and gently rocked seeped some of my pain away.

I have always looked up to you ~ wanting to be like you ~ knowing that I could never reach that perfection. You see, you always seemed so perfect to me! So many of your talents and skills I can just admire and appreciate.

So, HaPpY BirTHdAy, dear Wanda! I hope you and Mom and Lena and Norene are having a celebration! Once my hero, and now my angel ~Until we hug again ~ I LOVE YOU FOR ALWAYS!

P.S.

Please give my Toni & Todd a hug for me!

Mommy ~ Mom ~ My Mother

2010-05-07T15:42:00.005-06:00

Me and my MOMMY

My mother ~ the most amazing woman!
Her loving, nurturing nature made me feel so safe and cherished. Not that I didn't ever feel her wrath - rather the fly swatter - on my backside. I always knew that I had it coming, though. She totally believed in spanking - on the bottom - NOT with her hand - the rivits on our jeans hurt her hand.
She made home so comfortable, but thoroughly CLEAN! Our floors shined, beds were always made, dishes done and put away, porches swept, and laundry so white it was the envy of the neighbors.
She had a green thumb when it came to growing flowers. She loved having a pretty yard.
She had a strong work ethic. Being a widow with 4 little ones and not willing to go on any type of assistance (whether it be from the state or the church) she did many things. She tended neighbor kids, ironed and cleaned for people in our ward, cleaned a motel down on south Country Club Dr. All this and kept up the yard and house and chickens. Later after dad and 4 more little ones were added to our family, she kept up the house, yard, babies, and helped with the animals, and in the fields.
She sewed, mended, quilted, bottled fruit, made bread, and made sure the cookie jar was full. She read to us every night, and the cadence of her voice was so soothing. She had a knack for reciting poems and readings. She loved to sing and taught me sunday school & primary songs, nursery rhymes, and finger plays that I loved then, and can now teach my grand daughter.
She made life a joy for us kids! ...played board games with us. ...made sure we always had books to read, crayons to color with, and stuff & things to do whatever with. Before plastic wading pools, she filled wash tubs in the back yard for us to cool off in . She allowed us to roam the neighborhood and have the freedom to stay out after dark in the summertime. She hauled us to grandma & grandad's and to family reunions ~ family was everything to her! She was willing to stop at scenic byways & overlooks and let us eat junk food in the car as we sang together or played 20 questions. Traveling with her was always fun.
Her service and compassion to others was stellar. Her tenderness in caring for her mother and her mother-in-law, and dad's step mother (even though at times that was really hard) was such an example to me.
I will always admire the dilligence with which she performed her church callings. I never heard her complain. Her obedience is something I need to strive to match.
I loved talking to her as a teenager ~prying stories of her youth out of her.
She taught me so much in my young married days over the phone ('cause I didn't pay enough attention when I was still at home).
As a new mother her advice was so welcome.
As a working woman it was such a comfort to be able to stop by her house and get a hug at lunch time.
I will never get over the urge to crawl up on her lap and breathe in her scent and feel her softness...

Mom, I miss you! You are my heroine! If you weren't my mother, I would have chosen you for my best friend. I aspire to be like you. You are the most beautiful woman I have been blessed to know. I LOVE YOU!

Words to LIVE by...

2009-11-19T11:29:00.008-07:00

This tile trivet hangs in my kitchen near the sink, so I see it every day!

It was given to me by a co-worker almost 24 years ago!

I really do try to govern my life by

GREATFULNESS.

I also try to spread a little JOY and SUNSHINE every chance I get.

I have been blessed with a happy spirit - O, I can get down and depressed, but I just can't stay there. I will wallow for a moment only, and my heart just floats right back up to

HaPpY!

I have always been surrounded by people who love me, and things to give me comfort and ease and beauty! I recognize that I have more to be thankful for than not. Yes, I have had sorrows - many and deep - but, because of them I can appreciate the everyday little joys that come my way!

Thanks to my co-worker friend for giving me this beautiful tile, and to it's author, Amanda Bradley!

It gives me something to muse on...

To Those Who Served...

2009-11-11T09:45:00.011-07:00

How blessed I am to know and love selfless, strong and brave men & women who served in the armed forces!

I am so very proud of my brother Jim the MARINE. I remember my heart swelling with pride seeing him in his Marine uniform. He was already good looking, but that uniform made him even more so! I think all my girlfriends had a crush on him! I loved hearing him tell stories about serving. The one I recall most is his telling of how proud he was being one-of-hundreds holding a huge gynormous United States flag from underneath and having tears in his eyes while telling it. Thank you Jim. I love you!

Thank you uncle Benny and my uncle Buster, my cousin Fred, and ex-cousin-in-law Terry for serving in the NAVY!

Thank you Aunt Nelda for your service in the AIR FORCE. I have always looked up to you!

Thank you Bill for your service in the AIR FORCE. It wasn't easy letting you go to Viet Nam and wonder if you would be coming back home to me. I know how very hard it was for you to witness the horrors you saw and try to make the world seem normal when you came back!

Thank you to my uncle Cotton and uncle Kenneth for your service in the Army. Thank you Ted for serving in the ARMY and for the sacrifice in pain that you experienced losing friends and being wounded in the jungle of Viet Nam. How tender must have been your feeling knowing that your child was being born when you were so far away. Thank you for taking time to write to me. I cherish those words. I loved you then and still.

Thank you my Grandad Cluff for your service in WWI. You will always be one of my heros!

HEROS ALL!!

Blast From The Past!

2009-11-08T19:51:00.007-07:00

Almost daily I experience the warm memories of my childhood in our little white frame home - you know the one - with the white picket fence and fragrant colorful flowers lovingly tended by my mom's hands. More specifically I hear the voices of my siblings and my mother gathered round the kitchen table. That soothing background noise for all our meals. That table had some miraculous meals served on it. I am so amazed that Mom could feed herself and four kids with one can of tuna, or one can of soup. I remember fried okra - still a treat to me - salmon patties, scalloped potatoes, cakes, raisin filled cookies (sure could love one of those right now!) and even frog legs at least one time. But the dishes that some of those meals were served on grace my table today!
These are the only two left (pictured above) that I was blessed with out of I-don't know-how-many. I recall eating fried eggs off these plates and thinking how the white spots were egg left on the plate. Almost every morning I now eat eggs on one of these plates and think the same thing. Of course I love eating desert from them!
I wish I knew their history. Were they from a box of detergent? I do know mom got some dishes from detergent, green stamps, the service station and such. Did she pick them up from a family member, or were they a wedding gift? O, how I wish I had asked her! They are beautiful! Small plates with large simple brush strokes that form a beautiful flower... but more than that they bring a rush from the past of blissful childhood memories! I simply adore them!

DRESSING OF A PRINCESS

2009-07-26T11:18:00.004-06:00

Some of my fondest childhood memories are sitting on the cool linoleum floor at my mother's feet as she made dresses for me and my two older sisters. There were three small drawers on the left side of the sewing machine, and the bottom one was filled with all sorts of fanciful things to keep me occupied as my mother sewed. Jacks, marbles, plastic coins {I swallowed a play dime once causing a delay in the making of that particular dress}, a few stray buttons, string, and rubber bands. How I loved listening to the rhythmic sounds of the treadle sewing machine, smelling the new cloth {something wonderfully anticipatory in that smell}, feeling her warmth as I lay my head against her thigh, and watching as she removed pin after pin from the seam before the needle went over them, and putting them in a bright red tomato-shaped pin cushion...

How I loved trying on the dress as she took the pins out of that tomato-shaped pin cushion and pinned the hem just so - to be finished by hand by lamp light later! There were plaid dresses with prim white collars - for the coming school year. There were dresses for church. But the fluffy clouds of organdy and lace and ribbons that went into the Easter dresses were the ones that made me feel like a princess!

LET FREEDOM RING!

2009-07-04T15:13:00.011-06:00

GOD BLESS AMERICA

...and He did!

It is now up to us to help protect and preserve those blessings.

May we be ever appreciative of this

AMERICA the BEAUTIFUL,

and those brave and courageous men and women who serve-

May we stand up for the principles that our founding fathers intended-

May we be united in keeping our nation

ONE, under GOD -

I pledge allegience... do you?

2009-06-30T15:30:00.011-06:00

You know how some people fit right into your life like they had been there all along?! Those people who feel like an old, soft cotton glove. . . just fitting comfortably against your soul? I've been fortunate all my life - surrounded by fRieNds like that. I have childhood friends that still creep into my thoughts and softly conjure up happy memories of shared secrets, giggles, and warm summer days spent playing together not wanting to separate and go home when the porch lights come on {ALENE, KAY, JUDY, CLIFF, BOBBY, JIMMY, SONNY}.

I have friends that I may not see for months or years even, and in a few seconds of reuniting we pick up where we left off {CORENE, MONA, TONIA, ANGEE, SARA, TRISH, LOUISE, BARRIE, DEBORAH, VANESSA}.

I have family who, if they weren't related, I would have chosen for friends {MOM, my SISTERS, my BFF cuz BEV, and especially my sweet comfort, my daughter, ANDI}.

My everyday-get-me-through-stuff-and-we-can-tell-each-other-anything friend {CARRIE} who is always there when I need her most without being summoned.

My fondest, dearest, and special all-time-love, a man who made me feel whole and comfortable in my own skin, who changed my life, who is my far-away-and-wish-he-were-here, forever-FrIeNd {TED}.

I guess that says it - it's not what they say or do, but how they make you FEEL! Maya Angelou says it in one of my favorite quotes:

To all my FrIeNds ~ to all those who brushed up against my life and shared your sunshine ~

I LOVE YOU and THANKS!

! Gramma Rock Star !

2009-06-23T13:53:00.011-06:00

My grand daughter's 5th birthday celebration took place over the weekend, and this Gramma rocked on with the rest of the little rock stars. My daughter worked really fast and furious on this bash, with help from her cousin, and 2nd cousin. I pitched in with help on the rock star logo board, the "rock star" crayon portrait for "pin-the-shades-on-the-rock star", hanging a bazillion stars, and laying the red carpet. I even sported a tattoo on my chest. But, the most fun was rocking with Haylee to some great beats! That little girl had Gramma really jumping! She got me going, all the while taunting me to jump higher and twirl faster and faster,not letting go of me and giggling at me the whole time! Got some good laughs from the observers as well, and definitely wore this Gramma out!!

There's probably nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for that kid! I live for her hugs, sweet smile, teasing sparkle in her eyes, and bubbly giggles!

Lots of happy little girls, fun times and memories for Haylee (and Gramma) to muse on later in her life...

BIRTHDAY HEARTS & FLOWERS

2009-06-16T12:31:00.020-06:00

June 16, 1966

After 9 wonderful months of anticipation my water broke on the exam table at the Dr.'s office just as the Dr. was going to do it. My due date was the 11th of June, and Dr. McGregor said he would start me today if I hadn't delivered sooner. How convenient not to make a mess, as there was a bucket under me at the foot of the exam table. I was sent home with instructions to go to the hospital when contractions were 5 minutes apart. Bill took me and my mom met us in the labor room. O, boy! Hang on! I had no clue what to expect and I had never experienced much more than a toothache! This was going to be a doozy! Watching my mother's face made it even harder, as I'm sure I was seeing my own pain reflected on her. She later told me she would never go into the labor room again with one of her daughters! My friend Mona was an aid, and came in to peek - she told me the baby has lots of dark curly hair. I wasn't a screamer, but some growls, moans & groans, and lots of fear in my eyes - - - Dr. Kon told me not to have this baby in the middle of the night, but not too long before midnight I was wheeled into the delivery room. No Bill. No mom. That just wasn't done in those days. They gave me some stuff called Twilight gas that made me close my eyes, but seemed to do nothing to ease pain. When the Dr. did the episotomy, I did scream. He was cursing the nurse for not filling whatever it was that was supposed to be in the bottle they sprayed on me to deaden that delicate area. Then I remember the Dr. saying "...shoulders like a football player." I assumed I had a boy, and said so. He said, "No, it's a beautiful girl with shoulders like a football player!" I was so jubilant! A daughter! They put her on my tummy while finishing up whatever, and the feel of her was like nothing in this world! She sounded like a kitten mewing when she cried... they took her away and put her in an incubator and later an isolet. Many times over the next 24 hrs. they were going to bring her to me, but she would turn blue and they would put her back on a machine to help her breathe or put a tube in her throat for the same purpose. I watched that tiny little girl rock on her hands & knees fighting for her life. At one time I got to stand with a window between us as we looked into each other's eyes and spoke all the love we had for each other. Shortly after midnight on the 18th Dr. Kon came into my room, pulled the curtain around me, sat on my bed and without speaking, held me and rocked me. We both sobbed. My precious little Toni Kay had come to this earth for such a brief visit to bless my life forever. I long for that day to hold her in my arms again.

Happy Birthday my baby!

June 16, 1970

4 years wanting a baby so badly! How thrilled to know I was going to soon hold a little boy in my arms. I just knew it was going to be a boy. He practiced all his wrestling moves within me for many months. He was due June 10th. On the morning of my contractions coming close together, I carried the trash can out to the street and walked over to my brother's house for a ride to the hospital. What a ride - included hopping the curb in his VW onto a church lawn and hearing a preacher utter some colorful words. (Jim's version of the story is absolutely hillarious!) Quite a jaunt from south Phoenix to the clinic in Mesa. After an examination when we got there I was told to come back later. Well I was starving, so Jim took me to a Dunkin Donuts and there was no seats available. So we drove around alot finally stopping at a gas station for some chips and a coke. This time the hospital admitted me. Jim had to go to work. They didn't let me see anyone for long anyway. My sister Wanda stopped by for a while. Labor went on and on and on. I was poked and prodded a bazillion times by interns, externs and nurses. One sweet little RN rubbed my back as we sang songs to pass the time. I couldn't lie down as my tailbone was sticking out. This baby was so reluctant to enter this world that he kept pushing back instead of forward. They finally administered a para cervical and took me to the delivery room. Oops! Still not ready. More walking, and singing , and back rubs! The delivery room again! Yipee! Well, this time when they wheeled me back out I cried. I know I'm pregnant! What's going on?! Third time's the charm! Of course, by then, the drugs had worn off. I figured if I was having this baby without drugs, I wanted to watch. So, I sat up on the delivery table (lying down on that tailbone was extremely uncomfortable, anyway) and watched the reflection on Dr. Skousen's glasses and the instrument case behind him. That little boy was certainly being stubborn, but finally came into this world posterior. The first thing the Dr. said was "o, what's this?" I panicked. This was Toni's birthday, and I had visions of the same thing happening again. Dr. Skousen reassured me that he was only concerned about a thumb size hematoma on the side of the baby's head, but that he was healty and beautiful. I could already see that he was beautiful. I couldn't wait to hold him and that didn't take long. It was me and him. Nothing else in the world mattered. Joseph Todd. I notified the Red Cross to let his daddy know about his birth way over in Viet Nam. Circumstances never permitted the two to meet. But, how like him he was in looks, gentleness, compassion, and so many ways. Todd brought such joy to my life, his little sister's life - even though there was 12 years between them - his step dad's life, and anyone who knew him.

25 yrs. with Todd. 14 yrs. without him. I miss your smile, your laughter, your teasing, and especially your hugs! Can't wait for the day I get them again.

Happy Birthday my son!

Been There / Done That - or - Take This Job ...

2009-06-15T16:29:00.006-06:00

Been thinking a lot lately of what employable skills I have. When you are way past the age of first jobs and leaning in the direction of a rocking chair, it's kinda' hard to brush off your resume, as the layers of dust could start a coughing fit - which leads to other age related and possibly embarrassing activities. Nonetheless, I found myself reminiscing on the various jobs I've held over my lifespan.

I do recall the jobs at home as a child - setting & clearing the table, drying dishes, emptying the wastebaskets, shaking the rugs, sweeping the porches & carport, and dusting. I had a love/hate thing about dusting. All those little knick-knacks! Yet, all those little knick-knacks and I had quite the relationship going after years of our Saturday morning get- togethers with the dust rag! I was especially fond of the stuff on the mantle and of the treasures on my mother's dresser. Just touching her things was magical.

Helping to plant corn, feed calves, straighten bent nails, drive tractor, load hay, herd cows - those were the kinds of jobs my dad had me do.

Babysitting - another love/hate job! I made so many paper airplanes for a family of little boys, that I got to be rather adept at it. Trying to stay awake 'til the kids parents returned was so hard for a 12 yr. old. When I was older, I kept the kids quiet by having them pose for charcoal portraits, and when the parents saw them on their return, they would purchase them for their family room walls. Quiet kids - more pay!

I remember harvesting pecans - I wasn't very old, and can't quite remember where it was exactly, but think it was with my Grandad Lofgreen at uncle Sheck's pecan grove. I also remember picking cotton, and how sore my fingers got!

I wanted a job when I was in high school, but dad wouldn't let me get one - probably because he needed my help at the farm. But I did get my first real job cleaning the Southern Motel to help pay for going to Dixie College. I was working there when I met my first husband Bill. I had to walk by his house every day on my way to and from the motel. Later he was to say he didn't recognize me without a broom in my hand or my hands in a toilet! Charming! He wouldn't let me work after we married, but while he was overseas, I got a job as a cashier in The Market Basket - a tiny, corner, neighborhood grocery store. I had tons of fun working there. He made me quit when he got home.

After my divorce from Bill, I was a working single mother. I had no car and walked to and from my job at Mel's Bakery every day. Best shape I've been in my entire life! I was a cashier, kept the cases full of pastries, sliced and bagged bread, kept finger prints off the glass cases, and could have a brownie any time I wanted! Life was good! I was working there when I met my second husband, Jay. We moved to Meadow, and I got a job as a seamstress in a clothing factory in Fillmore. I was trained on various different machines - top stitching, serging, buttonholer, and hemming -that's where I really got proficient! We were paid by the piece, and I got really fassssst on hemming tank tops. Made some good money there. When we moved back to St. George I got a job at the sleeping bag/tent factory sewing zippers in sleeping bags. Not nearly as easy as working on women's clothing! I got the opportunity to take classes to get a real estate salesman license and when I passed the test, I quit my job at the sewing machine! WeeHaw! Trouble was, I was terrified - didn't know the first thing about selling real estate, so got a job cleaning condos in Bloomington. I made some good tips there - seems I could make faucets shine like no other! Finally got my nerve and went to work as a real estate sales counselor. That was in 1979 - other than switching companies a few times and becoming a broker - I'm still at it!

I have to say my favorite and most loved job is being a

Mother and Gramma!

I think this is where my skills are! Who needs a resume for that?!

...tagged by Bev -- HERE'S MY SIGN!

2009-06-01T18:54:00.013-06:00

Here are some of the signs

I live around and love.

This one was given to me by my BFF Carrie.

This one hangs above my front door given to me by Angee.

This hangs above the door between my entry and living room.

This was given to my baby sister Norene by me and I got it back by default.

This one is from my home teacher!

Ok, I've shown you mine -- now, you show me yours!

CAUTION... you may want to DETOUR!

2009-05-12T21:38:00.007-06:00

Ever have those periods of time that you function by memory? You know what I mean. You walk, talk, laugh even, eat, sleep, drive - all things normal, but you really aren't there...

I have been on a detour for a while, but promise that I'll be back soon!!

Please be patient with me while I navigate my bumpy road!

HEAVEN JUST GOT CLOSER!

2009-04-22T13:42:00.006-06:00

...and the angel of the month award goes to my amazing sister-in-law CAROL for sending this miracle-in-a-mug!

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

4 tablespoons flour

4 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons cocoa

1 egg

3 tablespoons milk

3 tablespoons oil

3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional) {why optional?}

A small splash of vanilla extract

1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well.

Add the egg and mix thoroughly..
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..
Add the chocolate chips (if using) {when} and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).
And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?

Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

There's just one thing more to say...mmmmmmmmmm!

NOT AS TOUGH AS I THINK I AM...

2009-04-13T12:15:00.004-06:00

Look out bubble bath - here I come!

Life (or the dealing with loss) doesn't get any easier. For some reason, I thought I wouldn't find it so hard to bear another hole in my heart, but it just gets tougher and tougher - not my heart, but the healing. Maybe, because of all the other holes there, the fabric is wearing thin and ragged. ...maybe it isn't ragged, but more resembles lace, and all the greiving has made it more beautiful - you know - that breathtakingly painful beauty?... I do know that time will soften the edges just as age softens our vision (so the wrinkles don't show up as much in the mirror) and with the help of loving family, friends and my Savior I will cope.

...and a nice long soak in the tub.

THE CHALLENGE: ACCEPTED

2009-04-08T06:57:00.011-06:00

I know I've been a slacker lately, but...here goes the challenge Bev gave {a while back} on:

Some interesting and not so interesting things about ME!

I am: stubborn, sassy, yet very old fashioned, and a great hugger!

I think: it's time to do something seriously FUN!

I want: my Lena...and Wanda, Norene, Mom...

I have: way too many pairs of shoes - since I'd rather be barefoot!

I dislike: constant whining & complaining

I miss: my Toni & Todd...

I fear: scorpions, fire, and deep, dark water

I feel: privileged to have formed so many lasting friendships!

I hear: QUIET, and it is FABULOUS!

I smell: Red Door - wear it daily

I crave: chocolate & cheese - they are both so sensual on the tongue...(I seriously need help)

I cry: when happy, sad, mad, whatever...

I usually: make my bed every morning - at least I pull up the covers on hurried mornings

I regret: the grey hair my rebellious nature inflicted on my mother

I search: for far more things than I care to admit as I age

I wonder: if I will ever marry again (guess I have to date first, huh?)

I love: having my daughter and granddaughter near me

I care: about making a difference while I'm here

I always: wear nail polish on my toes

I worry: about the success of my agents

I am not: afraid to try new things

I remember: my carefree and wonderful childhood (wait- did I ever leave it?!)

I believe: in eternal families - that's what keeps me going

I dance: in the rain - alone

I sing: in the car - loudly if I'm alone

I don't always: get my trashcan to the curb on Wednesdays 'cause I can't get my can out of bed!

I argue: with myself - you see my body and mind don't agree on a lot of things anymore!

I write: because I like the feeling of pictures flowing out of my fingers in words

I win: at Yahtzee about half the time and Andi wins the other half

I lose: track of time when I'm happy

I wish: I could time travel

I listen: to my heart over my head most of the time

I don't understand: how an ounce of chocolate makes a pound of fat!

I can usually be found: at my desk

I watch: my granddaughter grow way too fast!

I need: to use the stairs more often!

I forget: ...now what was I going to say?

I am happy: most of the time!

If you read this, you are now challenged to do the same blog with your answers! Have fun!

PEACE AND REST

2009-04-06T05:37:00.012-06:00

I love you LENA...and I miss you already...

I'm glad I got to say goodbye ~ for now ~ and give you love and kisses yesterday. You have enriched my life far more than I was ever able to tell you (I tried here), and it's going to have a another hole in it without your presence . I know we will be together again --- however, I don't intend for that to happen for a long, l o n g time. So, hug my babies for me, please, and give my love to Mom & Dad and Wanda and Norene...Have a wonderful reunion {I think I may even envy you that} and enjoy that peace and rest you so deserve.

Until we meet again...

TAKE IT FROM THE SQUIRRELS - STORE, STORE, STORE!

2009-04-02T18:28:00.006-06:00

OK - I am now the official lead squirrel for the ward I'm in. It's a good thing we don't choose our own church callings! My bishop said he wouldn't have chosen it either! Well, actually, I'm quite excited about it. This is kinda' how he said it - "We as a ward have done a project - like a dry pack day - and felt really good about it. But, then we don't do anything for another year. We need you {that would be ME} to be a thorn in our side {wow, a thorn, huh} and be constantly reminding us to work on our food storage!" I know I'm thankful for revelation and inspiration, but if any of you have some great tips and ideas for me that would be ever so GREATLY appreciated!

A BUCKET FULL OF DREAMS!

2009-03-22T23:19:00.022-06:00

A young girl just has to dream. O, remember those carefree, warm spring days lying on your back on the soft cool grass gazing up into the sky and imagining yourself soaring with the birds, or sailing on a puffy white cloud in a clear blue sea catching stars, or maybe sliding down a rainbow and splashing into waves of delightfully fragrant flowers... Can't you just hear your inner music lifting in harmony with the images of what you will become? I can... maybe as far back as a 3 or 4 yr. old. I think perhaps that my vivid imagination started filling a bucket full of dreams way back then...

Sitting on a limb in the mulberry tree with a "V" shaped branch above my lap transformed me into a rocket ship pilot racing toward the stars, and my dreams of flying sprang forth to have a hold on me still.

That magical change of the straight stick I was twirling into a "baton" instantly put me in front of a marching band as their white-booted majorette - tall, feather emblazoned hat on my head - picking my knees up so high - march, march - leading the parade - march, march!

Listening to my mother's soft lilting voice each night as she read us bedtime stories that sprang to life and transported us to far-away places, planted a seed in my soul to someday create those same feelings in others - journeys in the mind made with words.

O, how I dreamed of becoming a ballerina! I walked on my tippy toes and that wasn't enough. I folded my toes under and walked on their "knuckles" just to get the feel of the toe shoes I wanted so desperately and would never have...

Sitting beside my grandmother as she brushed strokes of paint across a fresh canvas gave me a desire to capture the beauty of life and freeze it's moment forever for others to behold!

...some of those dreams fell to the side of my life as their importance faded, while others actually came to fruition. Then there are those DREAMS of an older, wiser, more experienced woman that still beckon...
That BUCKET of childhood dreams has mingled with the hopes and determined goals of today and, as I muse on these things, I reach into that bucket and begin anew...

99/100% PURE - POOH! SAYS I !!

2009-03-18T21:28:00.015-06:00

They say scents evoke memories - well, here's one of mine...

See that wood and metal thingy above? That is a washboard! Bev had a picture of one on her blog not too long ago and said how she had never had to use one. Be so thankful dear Bev! So very thankful. Even though I'm not, nor ever was, a pioneer, my fingers still recall the feel of one of those boards. My nose on the other hand (well, actually it's on my face - not a hand - let alone the other - o, never mind, I'm sure you get it) sniffs in the aroma-memory of a bar of Ivory Soap AND my baby brother's diapers. Did I just say aroma? - could I really mean stench? That odor, smell, whatever - will forever be ONE in my olfactory memory! Ivory Soap = baby pooh period.

Here's how it went down for me. Baby brother does a number in his diaper. Some one changes him into a fresh one and the soiled diaper must be dealt with. That's where I come in. Picking up the usually damp as well as smelly package very gingerly with thumb and forefinger so as to make contact with as little area of diaper as possible, I rush to the bathroom (hoping none of my other siblings are occupying it so I can get this dastardly deed done with haste), and deposit the stuff in the toilet. If it wasn't solid, it also required a bit of swishing, gag, bleh, gag, and wringing eew gross. All this is done while breathing through my very narrowly opened mouth. Then it was off to the back porch utility sink to let said diaper soak in cold water until a few were ready for me to use the washboard. OK, maybe it was more than a few, as I so dreaded this job. Getting to it meant having that smell... Here's how it's done. Prop washboard at an angle against side of sink. Lay stained part of diaper on washboard and with left hand hold onto the diaper and washboard together while with the right hand holding the bar of Ivory Soap you vigorously scrub the stain, and scrub and scrub. Then without rinsing the Ivory Soap out of the diaper, you wring it out and hang it on the clothesline in full sunshine. {I could not get the smell of the Ivory Soap/Pooh off me without drastic measures. Scrubbing myself with that scratchy grey Lava soap, and then peeling oranges or lemons or grapefruit and rubbing the peel on my hands and arms.} The Ivory Soap and the sun bleach the stains from the diapers, but not the smell. When they are dry, they go into the laundry where MOM takes over and rinses them in cold water before washing them in scalding hot water, rinsing them again in cold and hanging them back on the line to dry. Bringing them in off the line and folding them also fell on yours truly many times.

I have to tell you that they were the whitest diapers ever!

But, still to this day the smell of Ivory Soap equals baby pooh!

AN IRISH WISH FOR ALL YOU BLOGGERS!

2009-03-16T20:11:00.007-06:00

A Wish for a Friend

Wishing you a rainbow

For sunlight after showers—

Miles and miles of Irish smiles

For golden happy hours—

Shamrocks at your doorway

For luck and laughter too,

And a host of friends that never ends

Each day your whole life through!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S' DAY

HERE IT COMES IN SEVENS!

2009-03-15T23:04:00.006-06:00

Join the fun. Come up with a list of 'sevens' that others might not know about you. Post about them, then leave a comment.

Seven Things I Love

Family
Fresh air coming in through open windows and doors.
HUGS!
All my senses enabling me to enjoy all the colors, textures, tastes, sounds and scents of this wonderful world.
Going barefoot
Candlelight
Freshly laundered sheets

Seven Pet Peeves

Limp Handshakes
Inept change givers {some people can't count back change properly - if at all}
Loud noises early in the morning
Cars taking up more than one parking space
Errant shopping carts in parking lots {I've been known to gather a few of them up as I park my cart properly}
Phone calls that are a recording
Eating while talking on the phone

Seven Things I Can't Do

Follow directions {according to my darling daughter}
Swim under water
Use technology {without someone showing me hands on first, then it's basics}
Jog {I'd bruise my chin}
The splits {well, actually I can - just can't get back up}
Fly a plane {something on my bucket list}
Stay away from CHOCOLATE

Seven Things I Can Do

Fix a toilet flapper or handle & replace the seat
Clean, clean, clean {I removed all the kitchen cabinet hardware, soaked & scrubbed it when I moved into this home}
Cut my own hair {have done it since I was 12 yrs. old}
Slay spiders for my daughter and her daughter
Sew {but it mostly consists of mending, now}
Charcoal portraits {just out of practice}
Re-direct objects to a different or decorative purpose

Seven Characteristics I Want To Have

Focus
Obedience {I tend to be rebelious at times - not that I want to, it just happens}
Self discipline {could be why diets don't work for me - ya think}
Courage
The ability to see situations from many different sides
Patience {yep, I want it NOW}
Poise

Seven Things I Can't Live Without

My girls
Sunshine {gotta have it - get grouchy without it}
Perfume {Red Door is my fave}
My FAITH {it's gotten me through some really rough times}
My CPAP {can't sleep without it unless I sit up}
Humor
HUGS

Seven Things You Might Hear Me Say

WeeHaw or WooHoo
Omygosh! or Omyheck!
ShootDangHeck!
Love your guts
S--T {I figure if my mom could say it, it can't be all that bad}
That's too funny
Hi, Miss Muffett

Thanks Bev for making this one tough by using so many answers I would have! Seriously, you know I love these things!

MOM'S 20 ?s ... ANSWERS BY ANDI

2009-03-12T21:23:00.012-06:00

My little girl gave her little girl this cute little survey that your kids are to answer about you. I didn't see an age limit, so I gave the survey to her. It was lots of fun, you should try it - you may be surprised!

What is something Mom always says to you? "Hi Cutie Pie!"
What makes Mom Happy? "Family" {she nailed it}
What makes Mom sad? "When someone in your family is sad." {exactly right}
How does your Mom make you laugh? "Giggle, giggle" {just asking the ? made her laugh!}
What was your Mom like as a child? "A little s--t!" {oh, really!} "A lot like Haylee." {well, in that case...}
How old is your Mom? "62 - a kid at heart." {right on both counts}
How tall is your Mom? "5'3" - I figure you have a little more height than me." {spot on!}
What is Mom's favorite thing to do? "Hang out with family - oh, and play Yahtzee!" {yep, it's true}
What does your Mom do when you're not around? "Enjoy the QUIET!" {AMEN - well, sometimes}
If your Mom becomes famous, what will it be for? "Writing!" {I wish}
What is your Mom really good at? "Cooking." {can ya tell I like to eat it, too}
What is your Mom not very good at? "Following directions!" {what? she never even hesitated}
What does your Mom do for her job? "Babysit." {i thought it was to counsel, advise, keep legal, look cool ...}
What is your Mom's favorite food? "Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's - is that a food?"
What makes you proud of your Mom? "How she's stayed strong through everything she's been through."
If your Mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? "Someone sassy - Betty Boop!" {boop, boop, de doop!}
What do you and your Mom do together? " (giggle-giggle) EVERYTHING!" {GIGGLE}
How are you and your Mom the same? "Cute, Sassy (pause) Stubborn!" {ok, then}
How do you know your Mom loves you? "By everything you do for me." {there's no end to what I would do...}
Where is your Mom's favorite place to go? "Anywhere FAMILY is."

{that's MY girl! You Cutie Pie!}

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SICK ...

2009-03-10T22:00:00.004-06:00

Isn't it fabulous to find out that the things passed on to you from generations of women are now being proved to have merit! I always detested the term "old wives tale" as it brought to my mind so many distasteful images. Wrinkled old crones with tails (OK, I get the spelling and meaning - but remember I was very small when I first heard it) giving unwanted advise to younger more hip mothers. Well, images and terms aside, good ole tried-it-and-it-worked-and-I'm-telling-you stuff is absolutely amazing! Women just have that sense of direction from other women's experience. Trust, faith, if-it-worked-for-you-it-will-work-for-me-too kind of adoration for the been-there-done-that woman. It's truly remarkable and something you definitely won't find in the male version of the species.

Both of my girls have been sick with an agonizingly painful stomach flu. Well, guess what eased the pain and comforted - one of the most famous remedies passed down from woman to woman for ages - CHICKEN SOUP! That was chicken noodle for the little one and chicken broth for the little one's mommy. Aaaaah.....

I'll tell you about me if you tell me about you...

2009-03-05T11:14:00.002-07:00

5 things under $5 I couldn't live without...

1) Sonic 44 0z. diet cola with lemon & lots of ice
2) Eyebrow pencil
3) Lip Gloss
4) Q-tips
5) Emery boards

5 favorite movies...

1) Inn of The Sixth Happiness (oldie)
2) Pearl Harbor
3) Benny & Joon
4) The Notebook
5) A Walk in The Clouds

5 baby names I love...

1) Emma
2) Gracie
3) Haylee
4) Joshua
5) Travis

5 songs I love...

1) You’ll Never Find Another Love
2) Because I Have Been Given Much - my church favorite
3) You Are My Sunshine – sang it to my kids a lot & remember Grandad Lofgreen singing it
4) Watching Airplanes – well, anything Gary Allan sings
5) For Once In My Life

5 life changing moments...

1) Birthing my 3 babies
2) The death of my 2 children
3) Losing my mom & 2 sisters
4) When I became a GRANDMA!!
5) Heart surgery

5 current obsessions... not "current" but ongoing...

1) Blogging – so glad I was talked into doing it!
2) Fluffing & straightening sofa pillows -lame, huh?
3) Diet Pepsi
4) Scented rooms – whether it be candles on warmers or sprays
5) Kitchen stuff or serving dishes that are unique

5 places I want to go...

1) Church History Tour
2) Sea World
3) Disneyland – again & again
4) Sweden
5) Cruise somewhere sunny & warm

5 appliances or kitchen tools I could not live without...

1) Watersoftener
2) Washing machine
3) Dish washer
4) Microwave
5) Refrigerator

So, now do a post and tell me about you. I'll be checking. Just cut and paste this post and change my answers and fill yours in. I'll warn you, it's harder than it looks.

2 DAYS IN HEAVEN

2009-03-02T14:43:00.009-07:00

I've always said "...any excuse to be with family." and I just had a ~fix~! I had the honor this weekend to have my mother's only living sister (and the "funnest" of her ten siblings), along with my favorite cousin (childhood playmates & BFFs), and her little sister, and my oldest sister's baby girl (OK, so she is a gramma already), my little sister (who I just can't get enough of) and my baby girl and her baby girl all under my roof. Whew! Nothing more fun than a house full of women! I heard my aunt refer to a group of her women friends as a "gaggle" and I find that term very appropriate for this bunch! Thanks, Nel! Listening to the soft murmurs of conversation and sudden bursts of giggles has always intrigued me and lulled me to a blissful state of heavenly peace. I recall lying under a "being worked on quilt" listening to my mom and her sisters & sisters-in-law chatting in muted tones until I fell into that trance-like state. Or, lying in my bed down the hall listening as they talked late into the night. It was never about anything they said, as I really only recall two specific conversations, but rather the warmth of their voices passing love, sisterhood and the joy of being together back and forth between themselves. It was something so special you could just feel it! Well, this weekend just brought all those feelings back in a heAp on my soul. It was absolutely wonderful! I even suspect there were those we can no longer see from there present - enjoying that warmth and love of family right along side us.

I was one tired little puppy at work today and felt the need of propping my eyes open with toothpicks at times. But, I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, I will probably wait 'til later to post some pics and give my version of our antics.

Thanks GIRLS for a fabulous weekend. It was HEAVENLY!

It's A Game - "M" IS FOR...

2009-02-26T14:21:00.008-07:00

Here's the game - a blogger friend (thanks, Bev, I love this!) assigned me a letter and I have to come up with 10 things I love beginning with that letter. I thought it sounded like fun so I thought I'd start this game on my blog too. If you follow my blog and want to play, here's what you do. Leave me a "comment" that you want to play and I'll assign you a letter. You are to share with us 10 things you love... that begin with that letter. Then you play it forward and folks will in turn leave you a comment and you can assign them a letter and on and on... Come on and play! My letter is "M". ...here are the things I love that begin with "M"

MOM - the most wonderful and important woman in my life and I love & miss her so!

Motherhood - what a cherished gift to bring three beautiful children to this world! They are my greatest accomplishment and I love them!

Miss Haylee - She may be her mom's greatest accomplishment, but she is my world and I love her to the sky and back!

Me - yep, I kinda like who I've become!

Men - OK, ONE in particular has my heart, but there is my son, my dads & my granddads, and my brothers, uncles, nephews, and in-laws whom I also love greatly!

Music - the kind that touches my soul, or makes me dance, or sing along - I love it and it's all good!

Mexican food - o, yeah, I love it and I could have it everyday and not get tired of it.

M & M's - Dark chocolate with peanuts is my fave! Love 'em!

Medical Miracles - I LOVE that my HEART is in good shape thanks to my bypass surgery!
Memories - I love Making them and Musing on them!

Leave me a comment saying you want to play and I will message you a "letter" for you to get started. On your Mark - Get Set - GO!!!

OUTSIDE THE BOX FOR NOW

2009-02-26T10:47:00.007-07:00

I attended a fabulous free concert at the historic tabernacle downtown last night. I am amazed at the quality and amount of local talent our small town has. My friend (and visiting teacher) has been wanting me to go hear her son sing at various events for some time. Well, I needed some culture and I hadn't been in the tabernacle for a long while. This is the same building where as a young woman I attended stake conferences sitting in the balcony where I could view the entire congregation to see who was there that I might know , and it is where my high school graduation took place. It now has daily tours, and every Wednesday night and Saturday afternoon hosts a free program of music or lecture. When I entered the room last night I thought I was in a box of Q-tips! No kidding! The pews were filled with white haired little old ladies and gentlemen. Neatly packed in tight little rows. Not sure if they really like the music or came because it is free... It was, indeed a sight to see. During one of the arias performed by my friend's tenor son, the gentleman seated directly in front of me turned off his hearing aid! He must have been there for the free part. Well, the program consisted of an exceptionally talented high school aged violinist with a great personality, his white haired accompanist, the tenor (who made me think of Pavarotti - voice quality NOT size), a pianist, a soprano and a baritone. With a variety of show tunes, spiritual, and opera it truly lifted my spirits, nurtured my soul and made me joyous. Yes, I wept, too. Duh. It is me we're talking about here. The music definitely moved me! Will I go again? -- I certainly will! I almost blend in with the rest of the box!

THAT'S MY STYLE

2009-02-24T10:24:00.011-07:00

Around the middle of February, Bev talked about decorating style and had a link to a quiz on types of style. I took the quiz and my style came up as "Lady of the Manor"- yeah, whatever. My style has always been uniquely my own with whatever I can piece together with what I have - early DI or Tres Thrift Shop. I like many styles, but tried to create that "garden" feel in my home. If you read my last blog entry, you will know that my favorite childhood place was my grandparents Garden- of- Eden- like yard. It's all about feeling comfortable and serene in my space. Here are some photos of that space...My Living Room

My Bedroom

The Sitting Area in My Bedroom

My Bathroom Vanity
My bathroom is HUGE w/seperate garden tub and shower

My Entertaining Style

So, there you have a small taste of what I surround myself with daily and what makes me feel comfortable and serene - well for the most part, anyway...

A PLACE TO GO BACK TO

2009-02-20T14:27:00.031-07:00

When I want to escape the crazies for a few minutes, all I have to do is travel back in time to my Grandad &Grandmother Cluff's yard. I thought it was a Garden of Eden. It was a special place that invited peace, comfort, relaxation, or pure abandonment. A haven for a little girl. A verdant playground. Shady spots everywhere - green, cool, cool green (in the hot Arizona summers, that was heaven). Splashes of various colors that caught my eye in merry movement as the breeze ruffled petals and carried the sweet scents of so many different flowers to my sun kissed nose. The grass felt so refreshing on my little brown toes - especially after a long barefooted walk from our house jumping from one patch of shade, or grass, or weeds even, to another so as to spend as little time in the burning, soft, powdery dirt as possible. I can recall falling asleep amid the coolness and seclusion of the vines and slick leaves of myrtle around it's perimeter, or next to the little yellow & orange lantana in their pristine circular bed that mimicked the flower itself. Heavenly random naps after wearing myself out running, twirling until I was dizzy, and turning somersaults, or climbing trees.

Sometimes I just plopped down in one of the huge wooden chairs under the trees to catch my breath. So many trees. There were date palms, pecan, black walnut, crab apple, and the orchard just over the fence with apricots, plums, peaches, pears and every citrus tree you can imagine. It was like walking into a dark cool cave with smells of rich dark earth and ripe fruit. Of course there was the sunny berry patch with huge juicy blackberries that were my favorite. Berries so luscious & tasty it was worth getting scratches all over my hands while picking them. How fun making dolls from hollyhocks. Prim little ladies in their flowing colorful skirts. And what a special treat to have one of my sisters or my brother Jimmy tie a string around a June bug for me to fly him like an airplane - around and around and around. And then there was the swing. O, what a swing. It was the tallest swing I ever saw. It's huge posts were covered with trumpet vines - their bright fluted petals trumping out my joy as I went higher and higher over the fish pond - always with that feeling in the pit of my stomach that wanted to go still higher, yet was a tiny bit afraid of the swing breaking, letting me fall into the water. I treasure the times Grandmother trusted me to feed the fish - sending me out with a box of Quaker Oats. I ate handfuls myself but did let the fish have some. What a sense of security and belonging and love in that wonderful place, and how thrilled I am to be able to visit it in my musings whenever I want...

THE ERRANDS OF ANGELS

2009-02-18T15:02:00.020-07:00

"MY SISTER'S HANDS"

by Sally DeFord

My sister's hands are fair and white;

my sister's hands are dark

My sister's hands are touched with age,

or by the years unmarked

And often when I pray for strength to live as He commands

The Father sends me sustenance in my sister's hands

My sister's hands are lined and worn with burdens of their own

And yet I know that should I mourn, I need not weep alone

For often as I seek His grace to lighten life's demands

The Father sends me solace borne in my sister's hands

My sister's hands: compassion's tools that teach my own their art

Witnesses of charity within the human heart

Bearers of the Savior's love and mercy unto man
I have felt the Master's touch in my sister's hands

Church Music Contest: Relief Society Division - Award of Distinction 1993

I attended our stake Relief Society program for visiting teachers last night and was so touched by this song. Yes, I cried. I wept through the entire meeting. Big suprise. There were some beautiful testimonies borne and stories of service above and beyond. But, even though I love my visiting teachers and think of them as angels at times, I couldn't help but think of my own wonderful, blood-on, fully related sisters and the examples all four have been in my life. I know they got their compassion, willingness to work and tender thoughtfulness from our MOM. I don't have to look far for my angels...

MY LITTLE VALENTINE

2009-02-14T20:09:00.005-07:00

Here's my favorite VALENTINE in one of the dresses her mommy gave her today (see the matching one on her dolly) and the apron that gramma gave her. Isn't she ADORABLE!

p.s.

The photo really was taken on Valentine's Day - crazy camera can't tell time!

HEART DAY

2009-02-14T00:01:00.002-07:00

WiSHiNg This StRaNge ConDiTioN

On ALL oF YoU!

PHENOMENON

2009-02-11T19:20:00.007-07:00

PHENOMENON - Gray hair on KIDS is a phenomenon!

That's right! Kids just don't have gray hair! But Look--

my BABY siblings all have silver in their locks!

My brother on the left is 7 years younger than I and I still think of him as a kid - granted a very tall kid, but a kid nonetheless!

My sister in the middle is 12 years younger than I and it was just yesterday that I rocked her 'til she fell asleep and very carefully laid her in her bed so as not to wake her.

My brother on the right (the one that came from Missouri and the reason for our get-together celebration) is a baby with lots of babies himself. He's about 9 years younger than I.

So, either my perspective is waaay off, or this is, indeed, a PHENOMENON!

GO FIGURE...

FOR MY DAUGHTER

2009-02-10T16:19:00.003-07:00

Because you have had more heartache, sorrow, grief and despair than anyone of your young years should ever have to deal with...
Because you have handled it all with the dignity passed on to you through generations...
Because you are an amazing mother to my granddaughter...
Because you teach me everyday...
Because you have wisdom way beyond your years that comes from experience and the heart...
Because you are a tender, loving, compasionate friend...
Because you are my SUNSHINE...
I wish for you all the joy, wonder, laughter and love your HEART desires and MORE than it can hold.

I LOVE YOU TO ETERNITY AND BACK! mom

MY BIG SISTER

2009-02-09T12:25:00.018-07:00

I have two big sisters, but since Lena is the only one living, I'm going to muse on her a bit.

Just 5 years older than I am... I've leaned on her experience and wisdom all my life.

She's been through so much in the last 10 years. Her health has been declining since her heart surgery - we have matching zippers on our chests! The difference being when she had a heart attack there was much more damage to the muscle of her heart than mine, and she's on blood thinners and I'm not. Seems they just can't keep her regulated with the right meds, and to top it off, she's been on dialysis now for a few years. She most recently had a set-back with an extremely contagious infection, and is trying to re-build her strength. As of this writing she is in a wheelchair and seems so fragile to me.

She is however strong spirited (as seem to be all the women in my family!) and I have stories and scars from childhood to prove that. I also have stories to show her soft and charitable side.

My mom said in my baby book that I resembled my sister Lena - I take that as a compliment. I do wish it had been those dark eyes, actual eyebrows, and perky boobs that knew where they were supposed to be that looked like her, but NO... (so what was it? - I'm still puzzled!)

I recall following her around alot when I wasn't pestering my brother Jimmy. She would dress me up, or play dolls with me. She was great at cutting out paper dolls. My mom dressed us as George Washington (Lena) and Martha (yours truly) and Lena pulled me in a wagon in a parade. I seem to remember another parade where Lena had on a crepe paper hula skirt that bled and drizzled down her legs in the rain!

When she was a teen she was kind enough to take me to the movies with her, or ask me to stay up late to watch a movie on TV after everyone else went to bed (I'm the one who stayed awake while she sat there sleeping), teach me things she learned about cooking and sewing (she was a whiz on mom's old treddle), and share her chocolate stash with me (you see she passed that CHOCOLATE in the candy counter at Newberry's on her way home from school each day). Sunday afternoons were a special treat when my mom would let us make old fashioned cooked fudge - by us I mean Lena was the expert. Sometimes she would let me lick the spoon or the pan.

She was tough - that scar on her hairline is where one of her hair curlers (if you can remember the old metal ones with a little rubber wheel that held it in place) was rolled too tight. She knew if she asked mom to loosen it, mom would just yank on it (which hurt) and not re-roll it, so she didn't say a word. Well it was so tight it pulled the hair, skin and all, off a small place on her forehead!

We seemed to do battle in the kitchen - butcher knives pulled over who would wash or dry the dishes (hint * it wasn't me holding the knife) - and in the bedroom that we shared - a line drawn in the middle of the bed that wasn't to be crossed (hint * I may have crossed it a little) and fingernail gouges (hence, my scars) as the penalty! There were always tears and apologies later.

As young married women, we lived across the street from each other and as I was childless at the time, we shared her kids. (I had just lost my baby, Toni, and she and I were planning on getting pregnant and having babies together. I didn't, and she had Debbie. Lena has always said Debbie is so much like me she should have been mine.) She would ask me to help her rearrange her furniture or do her hair or watch the kids. I just loved it. We spent many evenings together with our husbands playing yahtzee (that's whre my addiction to the game began) or rummy, or scrabble and eating popcorn and drinking A&W rootbeer from huge jugs. FUN TIMES!

I tried to help her during many of her health issues and she helped me when I had my heart surgery. Well, OK, that was like the blind leading the blind. She stayed with me, but neither of us was strong enough to do anything - we laughed so hard over it - like the only good we were to each other was that we both knew how to dial 911! The company was priceless, however, and I will be eternally grateful to her for that time and love and support.

She has a beautiful family and makes friends for life. She would do anything to make life better for others. She makes a mean QUILT. Her cake decorating and candy making skills are famous among any who know her. She is very private and somewhat shy. She is to be emulated and adored. She is one of God's angels on earth and I am so proud to be her SISTER!

LENA - I LOVE YOU!

SCRATCHING MY BRAIN

2009-02-06T16:15:00.004-07:00

Do you ever have one of those days? It must be this stinkin' head cold that I have, but I can't tell my brain from my bottom today!

I went in the kitchen twice for my meds this morning and couldn't remember when I got there why I was there.

I left the office to run errrands and on my way back stopped to get the mail only to remember that I left my mail key on the key ring that was still attached to the key in my office door keyhole!

I misdated TWO (I'm talking the same deposit TWICE) deposit slips.

Perhaps I had better wait 'til tomorrow to do some musing!

A SIMPLER TIME

2009-02-04T14:20:00.022-07:00

I love having come from a generation of simple things and a slower pace. Maybe it feels that way to everyone because youth just gives you that ability to savor all the life and events going on in your own space of time. I treasure the times I could stroll with my mother down our main street. I still remember holding on to her pinkie as her car keys were in the same hand. I even had to reach up to make that grasp. I swear she had the longest legs - probably because of my child size view. She always made me feel so special when we had our time together - I was the only one not in school (I was the youngest of four siblings), so I was privileged to spend whole days with her. But, I savored most the days we went to "town". Walking the wide sidewalks and looking in the magnificently decorated store fronts. Nearly always seeing the organ grinder with his little monkey in front of the corner drug store. I loved the sound my feet made on the worn wood floors of Woolworths and Newberrys... pad, pad, pad, squeak, pad, pad. I can still hear the whoosh of the money being sucked away in those pneumatic tubes in J C Penny's. And those cherished moments when she would sit me up to the lunch counter in Newberrys and order me a grilled cheese sandwich! Wow! Having lunch with my MOM at a lunch counter made me feel so BIG! Her grilled cheese sandwiches were really much better, but these were a TREAT! I loved the waitresses with their crisp aprons and lacy hankies pinned on their chests. They always made a fuss over me. And then always before we headed home, she would stop in front of the candy counter and let me pick something to have bagged to take with us. That smell! CHOCOLATE! It wafted up and down the asiles and landed right smack in the middle of my nose! Aaaaah. Behind that huge glass case so many to choose from - little squares of chocolate with teeny tiny bits of coconut in them, chocolate covered raisins, chocolate stars, chocolate drops with fruity creamy filling, bridge mix with those huge chocolate covered brazil nuts in there, and chocolate peanut clusters - o,my! I was always drawn to the chocolate stars. (I still love them and buy them when I can find them.) Oh, how I miss my MOM.

Have you taken a stroll down your childhood Main Street lately?

Fun memories - there are lots of others waiting for a new day - new post. Muse on...

The Great 8 Tag - THANKS, BEV!!

2009-02-03T16:26:00.012-07:00

8 THINGS ABOUT ME

Here are the rules:

Post Rules On Your Blog
Answer The Six "8" Items (they are not in any particular order)

Let Each Person Know By Leaving Them A Comment

8 FAVORITE TV SHOWS

Good Eats ( I love Alton Brown's weird humor, and I learn a LOT)

Food Network Challenge (especially the cakes and sugar work)

Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (I seem to like the food shows as well as you, Bev)

Weeds (even though the new season hasn't started)

American Idol

Big Love (must be having lived around them for years and never seen any like these)

CSI
CSI Miami

8 THINGS IS DID YESTERDAY

Showered
Had eggs & toast for breakfast
Went to the office
Changed the toner in the copier
Worked on a puzzle
Sneezed & wiped my nose a LOT (I have an icky head cold)
Made a really yummy dinner (crab stuffed ravioli with lemon parmesan sauce)
Read scriptures for 50 minutes (our stake has challenged us to read for 20 minutes a day)

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO

Going to Moapa tomorrow nite to be with family (my brother from Missouri will be there)
Hug & kisses from Haylee
Hugs & kisses from Andi
Payday
The WEEKEND
Email from my favorite man

Sleeping in on Saturday

Clean Sheets

8 FAVORITE RESTAURANTS

Texas Roadhouse

Outback

Paula's Casuela (not mine, however, I do cook a mean Mexican meal)

Painted Pony

The Pasta Factory

The Pizza Factory (but not for the pizza - it's the breadsticks!)

Don Pedro's

The Rickshaw

8 THINGS ON MY WISH LIST

Financial Freedom (let's start off BIG)

That the dishwasher would unload itself (I know that's the height of laziness)

That all my family lived within a day trip

That my grandaughter heals completely and always remains safe

That I had more time in a day

That I could keep up with my Haylee

That America could go back to the way God meant it to be - a promised land

That my favorite man would move to St. George

8 PEOPLE I TAG

The Duchess

Katie

Debbie

Carrie

Vannessa

Angee

Jamie

Beth

OK, now I've got back into the groove a little bit, I may do some more musing soon - like tomorrow!

On The Road AGAIN

2009-01-20T15:46:00.009-07:00

Woo hoo! I finally got her back! Can't possibly express just how happy that makes me feel - but you'll know if you've ever been without your wheels for more than a minute. It's that freedom and independence thing... that rush of being on the open road with the windows down and the wind blowing your tresses, and singing at the top of your lungs with the music turned waaay up... your foot to the floor - just knowing that something wonderful waits for you around the next bend (hopefully not an officer of the law). OK, so maybe I got a little carried away - but - wait - NO. If you know ME, you will also know that is the way it IS - PERIOD!

How Rewarding!

2009-01-19T12:55:00.007-07:00

Wow! A lovely Blogger Friend Award from... you guessed it... my own "bestest" friend and daughter - one and the same. Love you BUNCHES!

Walking to Missouri

2009-01-19T09:55:00.011-07:00

O heck, my car is sick. She's got the same symptoms she had a year ago, but the diagnosis is different and the mechanic tells me the treatment is different as well. I may get her back today or tomorow. I've been carless for four days and I really don't like that state of being helpless. I've done some pouting over it, I admit. You see, my extreme independence (OK, maybe it's pride) just screams for freedom. I was talking to a friend about it and he said how funny we are to get so attached to the things that give us ease and "...how in the world will we ever walk to Missouri!" He is so right - I am so spoiled! I've tried really hard to look at the bright side of things like: I'm so blessed that my darling daughter gives me rides; It's only costing me an arm, and not a leg, too for the repair; It could have been worse. But then I see the reality of the shape I'm in and realize that I can't even walk to work let alone MISSOURI!

So, after beating myself up for all my weaknesses, I finally came to the realization that being in rough or uncomfortable spots makes us stronger and not necessarily through anything we do on our own. I look back on the raggedest places that I've been, places that I thought I couldn't even live through and yet here I am. That jagged hole when I lost my first born without even getting to take her home... the loss of my mother - the one constant in my life... that raw gash in my heart at the death of my son... the aching emptiness at the loss of my baby sister and then again another puncture wound - my oldest sister's death... All these I thought I couldn't bear and yet I'm still on this road and hopefully headed in the right direction. Admittedly, my feet haven't touched the ground for years. But, what makes me think that if I'm asked to trek to Missouri that I can't?! I will see you there!

A Fresh Start

2009-01-16T13:17:00.009-07:00

OK, here goes. I was begining to feel left out when so many of my family and friends are blogging and all I can do is look! So my darling daughter helped her dear ol' mom create this place for all of you to come and muse on some of my musings. O, that could be scary! But, hopefully it will be amusing, or comforting, or perhaps a little enlightening...

I like the fact that we as humans can have do-overs. It doesn't go away with childhood. Actually, I think we need them more and more as we go on. Well, some of us do, anyway. I just really am greatful for having fresh starts.

I think that the most wonderful do-over, or fresh start is grandchildren! For anything I may have messed up with my daughter (I think she turned out to be simply AWESOME!), I was given a second chance to do-over the moment her daughter was born and a new love affair began. That little angel is now 4 & 1/2 and is the most amazing creature in the world to me!